Convicted?

I have recently been keeping up with a blog that really touches my heart. You know them... they are out there, these blogs with meanings... more than just friendly updates. The ones that cause us to really think and reflect on our selves. Well after reading this particular one I began to feel really convicted. I can do so much more with this blog than briefly update you on whats going on in our lives. I... like most really only give the fluff. The nice sweet stuff that's not to difficult or hard to understand. Now, don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with this... sometimes we need fluff and want to look at things that don't require much thought... nice, happy things. But like I mentioned earlier I have been convicted. I feel like the Lord is challenging me to do so much more, and to be honest. I hope that this will touch just one person. If it does then I have done what I feel like I am being challenged to do. I promise to be honest and not just give you the fluff anymore. So here I will start.... THE REAL BLOGGING BEGINS

Tonight I had dinner with one of my friends and we began to talk about "the old days" ( ha like its been that long) We started talking about how much I have changed over the past couple of years. For those of you who didn't know me let me fill you in... I was not that great. I was loud, could be very obnoctious and really really FAKE! I was very materialistic and judgemental. Now looking back all I can think is YUCK! When I think about that person I was I think about how unhappy I was. I didn't act that way to turn people away... oh no, the exact opposite. I acted that way to try and get people to like me. I tried so hard to be a person that people liked that I did the exact opposite. I became somebody who most people did not like. I always put on a big production so that hopefully nobody would see the real me.. You see I could handle people not liking this fake person I was... but I was afraid for them to really know who I was and to not like that person. It really took growing up and going through some VERY humbling experiences to wake up. It also took alot of God's amazing grace!! I am so glad that he allowed me to reach a point that I thought was rock bottom because I didn't have any where to go but up. Now I try to be a real genuine person. I try to be someone that I am happy with, that my son will be proud of and most importantly a Child of God. If you knew me back then and I ever did anything to turn you off I am so sorry. I know that I can never take that person back, but in a way I am glad. She showed me exactly who I don't want to be. For those of you people who saw a glimpse of good in me thank you for sticking through it with me. If you ever go through this, even just a fraction of it... I wan't you to know that you don't have to put on a show. Your friends and loved ones will love you for who you are.

"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." - 2 Corinthians 5:17 (KJV)